Everything you need to know about social-emotional milestones

Throughout the first five years of a child’s life, there are certain social-emotional development milestones that children hit at every age. These milestones are greatly affected by the environment the child grows up in, their own experiences and their opportunities therefore they are not universal milestones nor do they apply to every single child. 

Children who have experienced trauma, are autistic or have any kind of special educational need, might not meet these milestones at the same age as most children. So instead of focusing on their age, try to focus on the characteristics of the milestone they’re at and how to help them grow from there.

Social-emotional development milestone:

• By 2 months, most children:

  Show feelings by crying or smiling
  Begin to smile at people other than their parents
  Start to follow their parents with their eyes
  Can self-soothe by sucking on their hands or fingers

• By 4 months, most children:

  Smile spontaneously at people
  Enjoy playing and might cry when it stops
  Imitate expressions like smiling and frowning
  Show excitement by waving their arms and legs

• By 6 months, most children:

  Make sounds to express happiness or displeasure
  Can recognise faces and tell if someone’s a stranger
  Respond to other people’s emotions by smiling, laughing or crying
  Like to look at themselves in the mirror

• By 9 months, most children:

  Can be clingy to their parents & cry when they leave
  Get attached to certain toys
  Show anxiety when strangers are present
  Can respond to their name

• By 1 year, most children:

  Show clear favouritism among the people they know
  Can show fear or anxiety around new people or places
  Can repeat sounds or actions to get attention
  Enjoy games like ‘’peek-a-boo’’

• By 2 years, most children:

  Begin to have temper tantrums
  Start to copy adults and older children
  Get excited when other children are present
  Show more independence and like to explore
  Show defiant behaviour and do what they’re told NOT to do

• By 3 years, most children:

  Show affection and concern without prompting
  Show a wide range of feelings but can’t articulate emotions (QuadEmo can help them!)
  Can separate from parents easily
  Can take part in cooperative play (Take turns)
  Like routine and might get upset if it’s disrupted

• By 4 years, most children:

  Prefer to play with other children than playing alone
  Are good at cooperative play
  Can negotiate solutions to problems
  Are creative with make-believe and can confuse them with reality
  Seeks and enjoys new experiences
  Can express likes and dislikes clearly

• By 5 years, most children:

  Are more aware of rules and how to follow them
  Seek the acceptance of their friends
  Are more conversational and independent
  Are aware of gender and might prefer to play with their own
  Can differentiate between reality and make-believe
  Are eager to please adults and help out but might test boundaries
  Begin to understand and express embarrassment

Having a sense of where your child is in their social-emotional development journey will help you decide when to start teaching them new words and vocabulary, emotion regulation strategies or social skills. But, it’s very important to be aware that these milestones differ from one child to the other and even if your child doesn’t reach their milestone at the same age as other children, they can still get there at their own time and pace with your help or with professional help if needed.